August 16, 2010

Hey Family,

I have to start out with saying that my heart has felt very full today. I feel that I have been so blessed the last few days to feel so close to the Spirit. A lot is changing right now in our area. Sister De La Mare, on of my good friends who lives with us is being transfered. Next week we will be moving into a new pad and it will be just Hna Reed and I. We will have fun. It is the first time I will only be living with my companion. A lot of people from our Zone are being transfered. This will be my third transfer in Brooklyn. I love Brooklyn so much. We have been working harder than I ever have before. This transfer besides an ASL Elder I will have been here the longest in this area out of all the missionaries and that isn't that long. The Elders that we work with are both being transfered out as well.

This week we have worked and worked and worked. We have seen many miracles and there have been many times I've said, "I know we'll be blessed for this, I don't know how and I don't know when but we will be."

Yesterday I was thinking a lot about the lack of baptisms we have had here. We have been working as hard as we can. The natural man thought came to my mind, " What am I doing wrong? Where can I improve." As I laid on my floor exhausted and only had 40 min to eat and get ready to go back out I began to ask myself questions. I felt as though I was having a conversation with the Lord as I would ask a question regarding our work here, how I am doing as a missionary, and more so as a Daughter of God. This last transfer I have been more of a baptism focused missionary than ever before. Inviting and committing more people to follow the example of Jesus Christ and be Baptized. The distinct impression came to my mind, "I do not need to worry about the baptisms. I need to keep being a Baptism focused missionary but more so I need to focus on our overall larger purpose, to invite others to come unto Christ." The tears flowed from my eyes as I felt humbled for the oppritunity to represent Jesus Christ and offer the world the best thing that can be offered, The True Gospel of Jesus Christ.

As I studied personally this morning I read over the scripture that is on my missionary plaque. Alma 29

1 O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the atrump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!
2 Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and acome unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth.
3 But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.
9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do anot bglory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.

I felt just as Alma. If I could only, how badly I want to cry unto this people with a voice of a trump. Learning Spanish has increased this desire and helped me want to speak even more. But then, in verse three, oh how I sin in my wish. I realized again that I must be content and happy with where I am. I am a missionary, what an honor it is for me to be here, be a missionary. I ought to be content and happy with the work. I have so many weaknesses that get in the way of being able to do what I wish and want to do but I ought to be content with what is happening. It is hard to explain my thoughts and feelings in words but I pray you will feel the spirit which I felt this morning.

This week has been really great. On Thrusday we had 9 NINE new studets in English class. I LOVE teaching English while trying to speak spanish. lol, it is so fun. We teach english for 1 hour and then close class with a spiritual message. I know there is going to be someone from our class that will accept our message and want to be baptized some day. 9 might not seem like a lot but my first day here, 3 mo ago we had 0.

On Saturday we had a street sweep up at grand army plaza. We were walking around inviting people to have some free lemonaid. this was a converstation with a woman, "Hi, there is a table right up the side walk with free lamonaid if you'd like some" "I don't believe in Jesus Christ." I thought, I didn't even say anything about that. My heart sunk and with out thinking said ,"You don't???" It came out as if I was a wounded puppy. Then as she walked away I said, "Wow, that physically hurt me." It really did. I was so taken back.

I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Siants is His church restored on the earth once again in its fullness.

I am excited that Hna Reed and I will be together for another 6 weeks at least. She is a great missionary and we have a lot of things we want to do together.

Yestday we were looking up a referal and walking and walking and walking for forever. We could smell the ocean amoungs the garbage. I thought ,by the time we find this man he is going to be in a cardboard box on the beach. Then...a miracle. I looked up and the address really did exist! It was the last building on Ocean Pkwy and litterally on the beach. We were not able to go up because he had family there but...I have high hopes for this referal. We then walked on the board walk and tried to contact people as we went home. I love this area. We literally have the whole world in our area.

I love being a missionary. I love my family. I love my Savior Jesus Christ.

Much Love ,

Hermana Banaszewski